I have a lot a friends of varying ages and career paths. Some have children and some don’t. Some will one day, and some won’t. This post is for those who only see kids as time sucking, money grubbing, competitors for your life goals. They are so much more than that. Here we go…
- With kids, you can fart whenever you want to and easily blame it on them. This only works until your child is old enough to defend themselves and ring out a clear, “whoever smelled it dealt iiiittt.” Diaper kids are by far the best ones to take a fall for your bubble guts.
- If you break down and give them fast food, they must repay you by sharing fries, guilt free of course.
- Child nap-time is a great excuse for a daytime adult nap. Adult naps can otherwise be occasionally met with scrutiny. You can’t, however, challenge the necessity of a daytime nap when you are rearing young lives.
- Kids movies are actually pretty funny, but it’s hard to watch them by yourself without feeling some kind of way. There is nothing like a pint-sized excuse to check out Sing, Trolls, Storks, Dory, Cars, Moana, Underpants, Kung Fu Panda Sagas, you pick your poison. And don’t even talk about the original Disney Classics.
- Me-time is so much sweeter. Going to a coffee shop is just a regular occurrence without kids. With them, it is a luxurious vacation full of ambient adult chatter and the smell of Joe.