I promise that I will not be blogging Insecure think pieces for the rest of my life. For now, it is my obsession, with so many pearls that a gynecologist such as myself can tackle. As a lady doctor, I am kind of a consultant. A Vagina Consultant- helping women keep their bodies and often their minds healthy. There is nothing like a real-life bad boy to generate some business for me.
For those who want to catch up on, or get into HBO’s Insecure, there are going to be “Hella”‘ spoilers in this post.
Doc, I need my man to be 6’5” with muscles and swag. Sound familiar? It does to me. But is that what is important? Do some of the features that we pursue even matter?
“Maybe I want to be satisfied. Maybe I want to be dicked down properly. Maybe I want to ask my man what he wants to breakfast and he says… that pussy… and he’s talking about me girl…. There’s no excitement. He’s too comfortable. I wish we were fighting. Sometimes I just wish he would slap the s#1+ out of me out of angry passion. Not really, but kinda…” – Season 1 Issa.
Well, even though Issa said “I’m not a dumb b!+*#” to Daniel in the car, ultimately she made a choice that ended a relationship with a “good dude”. That “good due” description has made it into quotations because, as far as I am concerned, Lawrence’s character is in question so far this season. #TeamTasha may not be a real team, but she and Issa may be better off without the L. Regardless, Issa’s choice to get with the DJ/Producer, big-smile-causing, works-with-rappers, stays-in-the-gym, Daniel character was at least in part a pursuit for someone contrary to what she perceived as a boring safe character. She wanted a roughneck if you will.
As for Molly, throughout all of season 1 and so far in season 2, she has complained about her “broken pussy” not being able to get or keep a man or to find love or get married. Let us tally the number of dudes she rejected:
- The teacher at Issa’s school- the cute Asian dude with the corny jokes who showed genuine interest in what Molly did for a living. She objected.
- The rent-a-car dude who was cool and nice but had a historical moment of indiscretion in college that she could have rivaled AND THEN SOME in her own history, but somehow couldn’t move past.
- The dude who played Darden in the OJ Simpson Trial and Randall on This Is Us (let me stop being trifling, Sterling K. Brown). He was charming, he owned his own business, he vibed with her. His job wasn’t sexy but neither is the law sometimes (no offense lawyers). He asked her if she ever just wanted to fast forward to the part where she was married and settled and things just made sense? She agreed and responded that she did too. Afterward, he tried to take her to a concert and dinner and she blew him off. He had a plan and he saw what he wanted in her. She, however, became envious of her friend who was with his girl with NO plans and maybe more random chemistry? She was intrigued that her friend didn’t have a 5-year plan even though SHE DID have one. The guy who did have #goals, like Molly, turned her off.
And what of the saying: Opposites attract?
My mentor growing up was an OBGYN with an amazing practice and a wonderful marriage. She told me when I was a young adult, “the more that you have in common with your mate, the better. You will argue less and agree more.” This is not to say that two people from two different walks of life can’t end up together, and be happy. Two people, however, who have fundamental differences in either what they believe or how they live, will have a hard time sharing space for a prolonged period of time. Low key, that is why I always suspected that Lawrence and Tasha wouldn’t be together for long. They just didn’t have much in common.
Daniel: “I just wanted to come look you in the eye and ask you why you would treat me like some random a$$ n!&&@.”
Issa: “You were just an itch I that needed to scratch.”
Ouch Iss. That was rough. You sound like the dude you were looking for before you stepped out on your relationship. Maybe you should date yourself for a while, treat yourself like trash, and when you are done, you may appreciate a nice guy who will treat you like a friend and a mate, not a video chick. (No shade to video chicks. It’s a job too.)
Signing off. Stay tuned for my next piece that is currently cooking in my head about Girls Trip. There will be hella spoilers in that too!
– Dr. Every Woman, Wendy Goodall McDonald M.D.